Remember that the “science” is irrelevant if you meet a liar

By | 11th October 2017

Articles like this one are desperate to put across the message that “’HIV Undetectable’ Must Mean ’Untransmittable’.”

“The science is solid,” say the absolutists. But remember that real life isn’t a scientific study.

In most situations you have absolutely no way of knowing that a partner is “undetectable” for HIV. It is no more guaranteed that when a man tells you “I am HIV negative.” You are relying on him knowing and being an honest person.

  • His status may have changed since he was last tested. Men who were negative when last tested may have become infected with HIV and be highly infectious. Men were undetectable for HIV may be infectious because of other other health issues or because their meds have begun to fail.
  • He may be lying to you to get the sex he wants. The absolutists don’t want to admit to you that some gay men might lie to you. Due to political correctness they particularly don’t want to admit that some HIV+ gay men may be less than decent people. But just take a look at the news this week (and the jury will decide one way or the other in that case).

And this doesn’t only apply to casual hook ups. Gay men lie when in relationships too.

Walk away if necessary

The sensible way to approach this, if a man tells you he is “undetectable”, is to insist on a condom as usual. If he really is undetectable then that makes sex with a condom exceptionally safe. If he happens to be infectious then you’re still very well protected.

As we’ve said in the past, if you’re a condom user, men who crave bareback sex are bad news and best avoided. If they use a condom grudgingly, these are the men who are most likely to secretly take off the condom during sex or deliberately damage it.

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