They never stop whining about “stigma” these days. But, increasingly, it’s the gay (ill)health organisations and gay media themselves which are the main source of stereotypical and stigma-causing portrayals of us. They are fueling the breakdown of the “gay community” which is now well under way.
Lets look at some of the longstanding traditional and sometimes malicious stereotypes of gay men…
One stereotype has always been that we are hopeless, disorganised, laughable limp-wristed “queens,” who flap around. Unable to get it together in our personal lives, we are certainly not to be trusted with any responsibility.
Over the last year or two the gay organisations and gay media have relentlessly sent out the message that “many” gay men “struggle” to use condoms and that is why PrEP is needed. Not surprisingly, the rest of society has found this idea (and hence gay men) absolutely ludicrous and pathetic.
In the public eye we have gone from being responsible gay men who were fighting HIV by using condoms (and who in the past raised funds to provide those), to being hopeless cases who “struggle” to put one on and selfish pill-poppers who demand expensive PrEP paid for by the NHS.
Bigots have always stereotyped certain groups as “overly sexual” and promiscuous. In the past, Black women in particularly were characterised like this. Gay men have been portrayed in this way too in the promotion of PrEP.
Campaigners have featured men in “Truvada Whore” tshirts. The “struggle” to put on a condom plays into this too. As if we’re so eager to get balls deep that we can’t take 30 seconds to roll on a rubber.
Then we have the whole agenda about it feeling “more natural as nature intended” as if we are entirely and greedily focused on physical sensation regardless of anything else and so must be free to enjoy every penile nerve ending being stimulated. There is nothing else to enjoy from an interaction with another person, you see.
Another stereotype: shallow, one-dimensional.
The organisations and media constantly report that we have “higher than average” problems with alcohol and drugs and a tendency to be mentally ill. But much of this is based on dodgy surveys which are carried out around gay bars and booze-driven “pride” events. It’s a bit like doing a survey at a Nazi rally and concluding that “most people” are fascists.
This plays into another stereotype: that of the sad gay man living a lonely life. A tragic victim of society racked by mental trauma and turning to booze.
In the 1970s, 80s and 90s gay liberation was all about being happy with who you were. Look at the slogans: glad to be gay; Good As You; out and proud. It wasn’t about trying to be like straight people. It was a case of vive la difference. Upbeat and encouraging…
The problem is that happy and healthy gay men don’t need need “help” from lavishly funded gay (ill)health organisations and that means no “gay jobs” for the people within these empires. So instead they’re eager to hunt out victims and tragedy queens. They survey selected groups of gay men which they know will produce statistics which indicate “problems.”
Then they pretend that this small minority of extreme, troubled people are representative of all the gay men in the UK. “Findings” are distributed to doctors and end up being seen by employers and the public at large.
In the gay media we see an endless stream of tragedy queens, sometimes with a book to promote or a career opportunity in mind, “confessing” how they turned to drugs, became an alcoholic or were “shamed.” The latest craze is for tales about how they passed out at a chemsex party in a room full of depraved strangers who were off their heads and woke to find they have been taken advantage of. Which is totally wrong of course and a crime. But again, much of the population just shakes its head at these dizzy, irresponsible gay men.
This is incredibly damaging for all of us and even dangerous. It generates stigma against us and fuels negative perceptions. Next time you go to your doctor he/she may assume that, being gay, you are likely to be an irresponsible barebacking, drug user who drinks to excess with a tendency to mental problems. Will an employer who has read these news articles and maybe seen survey “findings” be more or less likely to give you a promotion as a result?
In the end we may see a widespread backlash against us.
Potential tragedy queens have a whole menu of victimhood from which to choose these days. With (ill)health professionals queuing up to “counsel” them – for a fee of course – and eager journalists ready to publish.
This wallowing and grandstanding is encouraged thanks to the “no shaming” agenda which we’re bullied into agreeing with. We’re told that, whatever they do, no matter how badly they behave or have messed up, we mustn’t say anything negative about these people.
But this creates a sense of entitlement and encourages individuals to carry on in their often misguided and socially damaging behaviour. Maybe even to go further as they feel it’s “approved” by publicly funded organisations (which should know better).
We think that the recent cases of “stealthing” (that is where a gay man damages the condom or secretly takes it off completely during sex) could in part be because young gay men have grown up being told that they are entitled to “have the sex they want.” “What you want when you want it” as a Gaydar slogan used to put it. Me, me, me (selfishness and narcissism: more gay male stereotypes). But then a partner says they want a condom to be used and denies these self-centred men what they “want.”
Some HIV+ men now have a great sense of entitlement when it comes to having bareback sex, because they’ve been told that if they’re “undetectable” they can’t pass on the virus. Bareback is presented as a “choice” these days rather than being condemned as something that’s stupid and risky under the current circumstances. No doubt some negative men fall for this too. In reality, HIV infection level can change quickly due to other illnesses and circumstances.
The bad behaviour, crazy agendas and negative news stories are building up future problems for all of us.
The good news is that, increasingly, the majority of normal gay men aren’t accepting this. For example, in the last week on Facebook there has been a backlash against GayStarNews for its endless articles about “chemsex.”
One person asked whether there was a chemsex drug user working at GayStarNews.
In fact we reckon the London-based gay (ill)health organisations and gay media are riddled with people who are into this and who move in these freaky circles. Hence the completely over-the-top obsession with something that is incredibly rare amongst gay men nationwide.
You can do your part by not supporting organisations and publications which regularly characterise us in a negative way and misrepresent the majority of gay men.