As we wrote in an article earlier today, in the 1970s, 80s and early 90s, being a gay man was all about accepting and celebrating the fact that you were different. We were “glad to be gay.” It wasn’t about trying to live the same lifestyle as “straights.” Craving that would have been seen as desperate and sad. The focus was on caring about your friends, your sexual partners and the wider gay community and accepting that you were a bit different.
All very healthy…
On the whole, gay bars were moderate places where it was extremely rare to see any trouble or anyone excessively drunk. They were almost exclusively LGBT. Warm and friendly and many had a clientelle of all ages. This mix was a healthy thing and led to non-sexual friendships across the generations.
Many articles have been written about the ongoing decline of gay pubs and clubs. But the main reason is because they no longer provide what they used to and have become extreme. So moderate people have left in their droves. Not only do many not go gay bars and clubs, but they have nothing to do with anything publicly gay anymore. This is particularly the case with the older generation (eg. over 35).
That doesn’t mean they’re in the closet. Quite the contrary… It’s just that it’s no big deal. They have felt unwelcome, repelled and have moved on…
Have you ever looked at a “pride” and asked yourself “are these people really representative of gay men and women?” They’re not… Many pride events again revolve around alcohol (and, less visibly, drugs). So they attract mainly the same extreme people who frequent the bars and clubs.
Lazy gay organisations survey those who go to gay bars and clubs and pride events because they are easy to reach. The findings show higher than normal problems with alcohol and drugs and mental illness.
These findings are interpreted as showing that all gay men and women have these problems. But they don’t. This is just a representation of those extremists who are on the modern day “gay scene” which revolves around alcohol, drugs and excess of all kinds.
However these people are constantly presented to the public as “the gays.” We have a problem…
Around 7% of gay men on the gay scene in major cities such as London, Brighton and Manchester are HIV+. How can so many have ended up in this situation if these are the well-adjusted, clued up men who are happy to be gay? Of course some unfortunates end up positive after trusting a partner too readily. But on the whole the gay scene is a world where many are unable to have sex without getting totally pissed or smashed on drugs and this in turn leads to mistakes and self-destructive behaviour. “Chemsex” being the latest name for one genre of this.
The fact that we now have a special invented word for this behaviour by gay men shows the delusion and denial of those who are involved. The truth is they are drug users like any others, some injecting. Also note how, in the gay media, it is never mentioned that these drugs are illegal and that their anti-social behaviour is against the law.
We’re constantly led to believe that those who frequent the gay scene are the well adjusted, happy gays who have accepted their sexuality and are “celebrating” it. That was the case 35 years ago. But is it still true?
There is very little politics or genuine campaigning about serious issues in what remains of the gay community these days. With that gone, if you still feel the need to shout about being gay and “celebrate” constantly (usually by getting totally out of your tree) are you actually someone who hasn’t been able to “get over” and come to terms with being gay and move on with your life?
Many gay men on the scene are emotionally retarded little boys who have never got over the novelty of seeing a different penis. As Stuart, the paedophile character in the UK version of Queer As Folk said to Nathan the 15 year old virgin schoolboy “I’ve had you.”
These days very few people want a “gay job” if they can make it in the mainstream. So the journalists on gay websites, the employees at (ill)health charities and so on tend to be the dregs who swirl in the aforementioned extreme and emotionally immature gay community. They’re all pals in a tiny polluted pond.
Some seem to be dissatisfied by “normal” sex (which grows, develops and gets better between two people) – often because they’re unable or unwilling to sustain anything beyond a one off meet up – so they turn to exploring the extreme fringes of gay sex to spice up things.
Their perverse outlook on life and sex filters into articles and, more worryingly, policy at major gay organisations. It’s about degrading, abusive experiences and using people. With a constant craving to experience every sensation to the max.
You can see this in their obsession with enabling bareback sex through PrEP or “undetectable” HIV status and despite the problems this is storing up for all of us in the future (with antibiotic resistant diseases on the horizon) and the pressure it creates for those who want to use condoms.
In comparison many ordinary gay men find that putting on a condom for anal sex is no big deal. Because they’ll be doing any number of other normal human things in bed too.
In “health education” material, extreme activities such as fisting are presented to impressionable young gay men as if they are an everyday part of life. Truth is, they are only common in the abusive world that’s inhabited by the gay scene extremists.
These are unhappy gay men who hate the fact that they are different in any way. They feel paranoid and insecure about it and have never been able to come to terms with it.
This is why there is so much focus on “stigma.” There must be no recognition or comment about any difference.
They believe that, despite the terrible mistake they made, HIV+ gay men must be able to have the same sex as everyone else. Or should we say the bareback sex that the PrEPsters imagine in their dreams that everyone negative is having? And they should be able to do it with men who are HIV negative.
They claim that men who “struggle” to use condoms, despite knowing they are very likely to contract an incurable virus eventually, aren’t idiots. We must be forced to accept that these self-destructive bug chasers are typical gay men.
Yet many of us know this isn’t true because we know numerous gay men whose attitude is “hey I’m gay and it’s no big deal.” They are off mending cars, digging the allotment, decorating, socialising. Some of which might involve some other gay men, but equally it may not. But it almost certainly doesn’t involve the gay “scene,” pride events or any kind of commercial “gay lifestyle.” They use a condom because sex is just one aspect of a fulfilling life.
Also we know men who are HIV+ who are just moving on with life, having accepted their situation and that they made a mistake. Some are in happy relationships. If they’re single and you meet them they will happily wear a condom to fuck you, whether they are “undetectable” or not. Because they are mature, sensitive people who know that grown up normal sex isn’t about degrading a partner by “breeding” his hole.
The gay scene has probably never been a less happy place than it is now: rampant with self-destructive behaviour, alcohol fueled violence (some by straights who were welcomed in), despair at not measuring up to a commercially driven mythical gay lifestyle and self-pitying victimhood egged on by the gay (ill)health organisations.
Every day more people give up on it. Leaving a core that is more and more extreme and unable to function outside it.